Heartbreak Beat

meetings – coinciding with a Corn Festival in Urbana – pretty town; like most mid-West towns – beautiful and better than the big cities. As was told, in America today – where all the “cool kids” are moving to. True – everywhere from the Dakotas/Nebraska/Montana, to the Upper/Middle mid-West, to the south and SouthEast – everyone is in a small town anymore. Me too. No attitude/no coastal crazies. More fun. Though, miss the beach – have lakes and rivers and beavers and deer and squirrels and I think possum are adorable – though they stink – and Cedars and hills and acreage – good for two dogs. “no sweetheart, that’s a raccoon – you don’t want to tangle with that one.” But, the raccoon seems to like hanging out with my dogs – and they don’t bother him. Previous, when attending school, lived in Santa Cruz Mountains – have watched a raccoon take on very large dogs and win; but also – watched neighbors walking [theirs] on leashes. Guess, like people, some are lovers, some are fighters. Hope the one hanging out on my property is a lover. My little girl is more boisterous, Border Collie mixed with something; my boy is Chow/Border Collie. As smart/fast as a BC, but the dignity of a Chow – from a distance he looks like a black wolf… he’s the hunter. No barking, no nothing, just stalk/take down 3 seconds it’s over. Glad he respects the raccoon. Hope Claire picks up his sense.

Concert – and free, too: The Psych Furs and The Church. My son wanted to go up stage-front; went with him. You don’t drink water much, you don’t move – except to be knocked into; though the guy next to me kept leaving to get beers – and got back in – nice man – I think a truck driver; as the Furs got on stage fights were starting. Looked back – it was packed in.

back home have started taking tap dance classes. all the other students are about 12 years old. I can be a 12 year-old too. Though was told by instructor, I’m disruptive. Not for normal reasons, but instead I am way better without shoes when dancing. Not perfect practice when tap is the goal. But she’s kind; seems to understand that the shoes hinder me from the movement (while learning) – so I am allowed to not wear them during classes. Starting to practice with them at home – like when doing dishes; stationary I can now do in shoes what is easy across the floor without.

Anyway… back to concert: The Church – every song from start: Reptile, to their end: Miami – I could have tapped to each and was (in my head – because you couldn’t move up front); they played with elegance and light in every note – as usual. Wish they were from The States, could see them more often. And a light show that was blinding (sunglasses, please – I like to see things, and they darken up this room). Then, The Furs – keep the sunglasses on (their Rx) cuz it’s just too cool. All the way through, the band took you forward to a time before where the crowd floated on light and it’s playing out on my street.

(tap dance to The Psychedelic Furs too? Absolutely, finding tap to be floatier (a word?) than ballet or modern – did so last night – no shoes.)

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Going

to a fair Friday; hope there’s a ferris wheel.

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Nightbreak

Nightbreak

Sitting Sundays with the girls were lost in boys
they thought the Nightbreak would come for them with joy.
I sipped on snakebites as the sushi slowly warmed
any temptation lost, in darkness saw its early form.
How many bracelets? Do you think she takes them off?
It’s such a bother, but maybe, maybe not.
Take off your glasses — well, you do look kinda cool.
I like to see things and they darken up this room.
You mean these people? They are dark enough tonight.
I like to see you… and his kiss went down my spine.

We walked out further though we couldn’t speak because
the golden purple played soft among the stars above.
Go on, try it – still, the salad tasted best.
It’s always different when the sun takes out the west
within that nightfall when the thoughts of blues come true
and coral sparkles left without light fade away from view.
It’s not in time, it’s only [thoughts] that make it ever so
for weathered dreams of a place you knew you used to know
when knights came forward honor held upon their crest
within that moment, the future never came to rest
among the ashes in a past that would not show
a fortune told once of a moon’s shimmer in its palest glow:

That night will come next only when there is a song
sung by a stranger whose words will stay until the dawn
and when you’ve woken and the sun comes back around to rise
that’s when it finally changes and day’s light will fill your eyes.
I told her thank you I had not heard this before
it explains these things now. (I still hope to understand much more.)
She smiled at me and her eyes were lit with fire
there are seven wonders for your life dear and they’re only of desire.
Well. If I get there I promise to remember all of what you’ve said
you’ve told a future that will never leave my head.

Tonight I see you and I wonder what goes on
inside a moment where her words come back to haunt
in sounds of seven and the future – they always stay so near:
If it’s a curse… No! Maybe, magic will appear…

Go on, try it… I hear once more as I’m asleep
(…when I awake, I pray this dream I get to keep):

You kiss me gently and your voice goes to my groin
and you go slowly and you make my body moan
and you don’t stop and you take everything from me
and it is morning… and you just spent my fantasy.

(©September 15, 2010 by KPW
and 1988) – All Rights Reserved

(next book – one to include; almost finished with current – next one is all pretty.)

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old movies

Arizona. Jean Arthur (beautiful), William Holden (devastatingly handsome), Warren William (debonair).

Made me wonder: so if you put society in a room nowadays and had them watch this movie, would the audience wrongly walk away believing Arthur/Holden were the evil characters and William’s character/cohorts were the good guys?

Don’t think so.

So, then, why has everyone removed themselves from reality?

The Replacements. Gene Hackman (too cool), Keanu Reeves (him, too).

Gotta Have Heart.

So, then, everyone walks away heroes together – they’ve already survived. Do it again.

Favorite sports movie – perfect soundtrack in background.

Divorce American Style. Dick Van Dyke (first crush, I think; most important character within Mary Poppins), Debbie Reynolds (…as a button, for the time – strongest female character ever portrayed – subtle).

Original thought is always brilliant.

Then, somebody gets their nose(s) (collectively) bent, and abuses art (singularly) to produce change.

Original thought stays.

Tom Horn. Steve McQueen (best actor, ever).

So subtle, [He] could move a finger and everyone else became background. I looked it up: they only rate this movie with two stars?! Who rates these movies?

So was the initial plan: A new contraption allowing others to reinvent a reaction by proxy shipped in for the event. Everyone watched.

Historical figure and another, a friend, who after wrote a note so history wouldn’t erase a man.

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ball with ivory icing

it was a pretty night dancing, and silver sparkles floating in the air throughout (my favorite part of the evening). spring… so, was wearing coral lip gloss (pic emailed to me later by a person who thought women should wear coral more.) I think so too – it is a way under-used color  for lipsticks/glosses, not too much  color and looks good on just about anyone . Just wondering how he got the picture without me noticing?

coral

coral

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OH, IN, IL, VA… NH… ND, SD, MN — OK …love OK

vaca!

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Food 6

Purism… stay yourself and find what is delightful in others’ differences.

food fights? bread breaks in too fast coming frames moods? that’s it. no – mood enhanced breaks from foods lead to less peas thrown from a spoon able to reach a corner of where we were all sitting in a dimly lit room finding the trouble while Kevin and Anthony flung heaps of spumoni covered by acrimony to fall on Percy’s two knees while the noon goons went off telling everyone to “STOP!”…but they never said, “please.” as another heaped over and soon the whole mess was tossed – and when it hit inside-out from a cheerleading squad squarely in end wore much more except the stuff now stuck on thinning yellow walls the rest splat on the floor while he slipped opening the door.

I sat there and watched, amazed to see everyone not knowing how they became covered in red ivy leaves while ignoring this truth. too hard to feed thoughts when fighting for one purpose became the only thing left taught in our schools.

back to before we’d been told off. necessity in pattern all as incidental is the only way to win – when we danced with each other and were happy for differences all of us laughing together we could still see and while dancing be friends.

KPW

(and I believe this is the absolute best video ever made in the history of music videos — Falco did it correctly; I wish the rest of the world had been listening; cuz they’re all pretty nasty or self-righteous or just out-and-out boring anymore. his other videos/music – brilliant – he was so far ahead of his time, it’s like listening to and watching a Michel Tournier short story (that ends happy) every time he opens his mouth. Truly, one of the best artists of all times.)

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Food 5

baked goods:

seriously, intentions were food when searching for – but I do see the irony of the video’s labeling. we’re still laughing.

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food 4

just a slob like one of us?

pull to the right, yourself, and have more concern for others than for the me; i.e. – don’t do things you can’t openly owe up to – then… there is never a victim and the others become stronger on their own. in the interim, eat well and be kind… happiness and health stay when you do.

yes, we are what we eat:

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food 3

food for thought:

utopian engineering – patterns and logic despised by any agenda.

http://vimeo.com/63749370

note: it’s about an hour – but historically/philosophically is exact and very interesting; and [when] taken as a study in humanitarian thought openly without attaching specific religious beliefs or prejudices, systematic manipulation is evident and is bad for all. it is ironic in comparing current problems with all of the overthrows of societies in the past and that all have been initiated by leftist organizations, purporting change for the positive welfare of the population until it (always) turns ugly. Don’t be bias of the whole if a few of the issues seem not agreed on. me too – when I first watched; but in the large picture: social engineering is loss of freedom every time/everywhere it’s been inflicted.

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food 2 (apples)

when in college.

one professor who, on occasion, ranted (they all ranted if they were good). good rants; thoughtful rants. But back then, teachers’ rants were directed at us, not at some societal scapegoat that was bigger than us. They’d shake us about what we were missing to look at in the world. it was us they seemed concerned with; not – and I mean NOT – about others/blaming others – more of a pull up your boot straps and take responsibility kind of approach; which was meant to teach us to think about how we viewed things in order to know more about ourselves; and – respect of others. Nowadays it seems the reverse, ‘I am’ (hate that tee-shirt!)

they were attempting to get us to think about our own actions – which is good. If everybody paid more attention to what they were actually doing and not blaming what was not theirs to control for their own actions/mis-actions/inactions, we’d all be more in control of ourselves and less out of control as a whole and have more freedom of thought to make better decisions. makes sense, if you think about it. an argument to this philosophy would be, that it takes a force to control those who are trying to control others. not really, cuz if you know who you are and don’t abide by the populace (in-group/out-group) when they are not doing what is right, then (if everybody had character/morals and enough courage to do what is right) a few bully stupids wouldn’t be able to convince others to go along. making everybody feel bad about themselves and the blame the ‘other’ portion of the program begins (he would say).

so… on this one glorious morning he started a rant about apples. took the whole class period up – apparently, not many of us were listening? I did. And, sadly since, slowly through the years, watching what he ranted about so vehemently that day has become a nightmare reality – like he was this visionary… attempting to warn us. The rant wasn’t about “big biz” and “science” and “greedy” corporations; instead, his rant was: it was our fault! we, as the consumers, had caused [apples] to change. Don’t blame anyone else except ourselves!

someone in the class had ticked him off.

here’s the rant (back then – it was like 1980):

it was the consumers’ fault that apples had become so tasteless (slowly ongoing for the last 20 years). yes, they looked better and were bigger, but they had no taste. this only happened because consumers would not buy natural apples if there was a worm hole or a bird’s pecking on/in them – and therefore, much of what was brought to market went to waste/grocers and apple farmers were losing money because consumers wouldn’t buy their harvests unless they appeared/looked perfect. So, started spraying of pesticides – but consumers complained of that too. So, what’s a group of farmers going to do – bottled applesauce for babies became Gerbers’ main advertising promo as a first food… already made/convenient; but still not enough to produce a large enough living for then local farmers to survive on. Enters widespread GMO apple seeds… these “seeds” are designed to produce fruit that looks lovely and won’t attract pests so consumers will not pick over the produce and there won’t be as much waste. The seeds were modified to produce an apple that had little to no aroma (which attracts bugs/birds) and very little taste but they looked perfect.

His point: the change was requested by consumers – and that is how all change comes about in a capitalist society.

It’s sad to think back – we had apple trees and apricot and plums – and down the road if we were to – which we always did – invade the orchards that surrounded our neighborhoods, tons of cherries, and in the creeks there were berries (and poison oak) – and you could smell the fruits as they ripened each year at appropriate seasonal harvests. you also had to receive an occasional bee sting, bite into an occasional worm, and definitely put up with flies buzzing around with other insects – we all survived and when we’d get home with what we’d picked we would cut out worm-holes and bruised marks and bird droppings and we knew the insects/birds were smart!!!: they knew what was the best fruit and so if they had “invaded” a piece, it was sweeter than the others. By the end of a Sunday afternoon, the whole house would smell like apples from what was left/made into applesauce and those parts we had to cut away because of “pests” were put onto our mulch pile. It wasn’t that horrible.

In the years since… you quietly listen here and there; consumers/cooking shows/cruise ships/ everywhere there is call for a perfect strawberry to be dipped in chocolate… bigger is better/showier… etc. the mega-stuffed spud potatoes for triple size portions with all the fanfare at restaurants – nobody wants those dinky things… the “next” perfect wine grape being grown in a geo area that could never support a vineyard unless the grape was modified; i.e. – vineyards (natural ones) need warm days and cool/foggy nights with no frost and specific soils. how the hell are they producing wine everywhere else? Genetically modified plants that can adapt; and on and on – I think just about every plant has been GMO’d; everything looks good but has little taste; and then think of the insects and birds? what are they to eat? maybe that’s why they’re all dying off (too); because they are smarter than us and know not to eat that stuff – all because of consumerism/demands put upon nature for perfection. And yet – everyone wants to blame this on corporations… i.e. – “they’re ruining the environment.” Uh-uh – not according to my teacher. He would correct us, “you are ruining the environment.”

to be continued.

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food

notes… a quote from (I believe) one of the greatest scientist of the 20th Century… George Washington Carver – and why [our educational system and parenting system and social systems] currently suck. We’ve not remembered – below is a cut from Wik… page on him – but IT was in our school books as a reminder to the character of an education when I was in school – I think they’ve removed it (and other great thoughts) from books in today’s world(?) Maybe cuz he was a Christian? Don’t know? I don’t remember ever thinking it as a means to preach [a religion] nor anything implicating one religion/person over another; just an insight to think about given to us by a great man – and so when finding his quote on the internet, I didn’t want to cut his “faith” out of their introduction:

Carver viewed faith in Jesus as a means of destroying both barriers of racial disharmony and social stratification.[60] He was as concerned with his students’ character development as he was with their intellectual development. He compiled a list of eight cardinal virtues for his students to strive toward:

Be clean both inside and out.
Neither look up to the rich nor down on the poor.
Lose, if need be, without squealing.
Win without bragging.
Always be considerate of women, children, and older people.
Be too brave to lie.
Be too generous to cheat.
Take your share of the world and let others take theirs.

remarkably wise and kind in his teaching… kinda nasty of our present world -currently saying, [it] is only attempting to come together for all with this politically and religiously correct stuff being hurled in hatred towards each other in front of young students now-a-day (really, it is the “correctness” that is causing much of the upheaval. that one group would not see the value of another’s beauty because of a [religious] difference is nothing more than stupidity, identity-greed, or meanness); and thus, edit out character from education (or else be sued). you do need character to be truly educated; especially SCIENCE. without, things go mad*… you also need it to nourish a planet’s population without harm.

*an Aunt would always correct… sweetheart, dogs go mad, people get angry, if I were to mix up the two in a sentence.

– to be continued…

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way too easy

going through the cc statements (just this month!), found eight separate discrepancy/fraudulent charges. two, back to back from one retailer had bought something at (once that day) – have two further charges that same date from the retailer… four others from one “trip discount” vendor – have those receipts/over-charges documented… and one further: don’t know what that one is, but positive have never been there. Combined: over $1500 in illegal charges… and I’m just one consumer/one month!

One effective way in stopping this is for all companies to require an actual signature on every single transaction – historically, we have the proof: before when this was the necessary procedure for a credit transaction, there was minimal fraud compared to this modern, more efficient system(?). I mean how hard is it to sign a sales receipt? It would stop a lot of fraud… stop a lot of unnecessary costs… stop way too much time spent on headaches!!!

and those stupid little pad machines to “capture” a signature(?) the same ones delivery services started using (first) don’t count!!!… they are useless; etch-a-sketch is not a secure medium.

so, [I’ve] made a decision: if using a cc to make a purchase, and the retailer says, “no, we don’t require a signature…” well, don’t you need to see my identification, at least?” “no.” then, right then and there, I’m going to say, thanks but no thanks; I don’t need to buy this from you until you re-introduce the practice of requiring a signature. Except for at self-pump payments for gasoline, this will work. Damn-it, I’m going to need to walk in to stations now! I’ll get used to it (again).

Of course, some will become angry for the “back-outs,” but if intention is for the good/not hostile, a little frustration in the right direction would do us all good: only being done to save monies for everyone and so much future grief to all. and then, there is time… there is no saving in that arena either. every time it happens, the procedure to follow:

one now needs to call banks and other institutions and get them to reverse charges – they then need to send documents and [I] have to sign/attest to each fraudulent purchase anyway; then if there is any form of denial on the others’ part, even more time, etc. even with just “one” fraudulent purchase, that purchase would cost at least an extra $50 in admin costs, and then the time… for one maybe total two hours; instead of the ten seconds more to gain a signature for the purchase at onset. Doesn’t make sense – would have been easier/saved time just to sign to begin with; besides – crooks look for these easies and make good use out of them. Too many reported – do your own cc companies start acting like you are at fault?

are our financial institutions that stupid or just lazy or is this not becoming such a big bother that maybe it’s time to cry, “uncle.” …bought into the idea, tried it, didn’t work, let’s revert to…

who’s gonna pay? … especially when, currently, the biz’s themselves have to pay for their accountings and the banks too – well maybe, neither do – I mean, they are required by Federal laws to have fraud insurance – they all must… and when those insured companies (publicly traded corps and legally responsible to their shareholders, not consumers) raise bond prices… it’s just become such a big mess with the thefts of billions each year due to computerized this/that. I would think it wise everyone starts practicing a little more prudence/control over financial exchanges. otherwise, one day it will become such a costly dilemma, there will no longer be any recourse available to consumers when it happens. I mean, financial institutions are bigger than individuals, and once they find they are cutting into major shareholders’ profits cuz of fraud, it is going to fall on the individual(s) to pay the fees caused by their system’s failures that allow us individuals to be robbed so easily. that’s how the past has always played out, at least. every single time! what reason is there to think differently?

I think we’re currently testing another of the future’s failures; i.e. – three axioms – existence, consciousness, and identity make up reality… in this case, first will go identity, then consciousness, then existence.

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[mary and johnny]

Johnny and Mary …more music – so beautiful, stuck in a traffic jam would be okay/you’d still be smiling!

(Todd Terje with Bryan Ferry)

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five and a half years

gosh, he looked so young at onset. think he was about 45 or 46 when he became the WH press secy; looked early 30s. today, read the announcement he is resigning… I believe the article said he was to take the summer off. in today’s picture, he looked about 20 years older than those taken [five and a half years ago].

previously, a reporter for Time prior to his stint with the WH – contrary to the slant of the announcement – a journalist is much different from a press secretary – and not even close if the journalist attempts honesty. I guess it isn’t the stress of a demanding job that ages you, it’s the stress of lying constantly.

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Ollie Forrest

he will easily become a legend of this era’s music. waiting for full album… (a primary guitarist on Ferry’s Olympia album, has toured with and read currently is touring w/Mr. Ferry on Jazz tour). absolutely, brilliant.

(note: aka when playing w/B Ferry – Oliver Forrest Thompson; though for his own stuff so far – as is is)

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water driving east

Wednesday’s storms. totally crazy, illogical except for

the chemtrails became more visible inland of Paseo Robles, an assortment of patterns of thin lines woven through blue skies; just a few – approaching Bakersfield, passing Merle Haggard Drive, there were only chemtrails (CTs) so thick and so many they’d become a wall of really odd-shaped clouds(?) but mostly light in color; and there too was only thick heavy smog – the mountains? five miles away – couldn’t see them; started realizing… not one natural cloud was even visible until within the Tehachapi Canyon, the sky became more natural again… a few CTs through the Mojave, into Needles it appeared they had been spraying the area quite a lot earlier in the day. Night’s supposed to be dark there. a desert sky was filled with sparkling clear skies and blazing stars – none were visible – CT haze made the night air smell like a tire factory. Nightly news in hotel room: everyone’s searching for rain. lots of theories/fears (quick note on that below); drought. military planes are crisscrossing many parts of our country’s skies continually without stop, throughout the southwest in specific patterns instructed by our weather agencies… to combine with/before natural clouds (not rain clouds) are scheduled to form – to make non-rain clouds into rainy ones(?). passing areas where CTs are all you see; no birds hardly, nothing. Sad. So up in the desert morning – driving into Arizona early —— all the way through (even Flagstaff), to the NM border – picking up even heavier, CT’s were my now studied observations as they filled the skies – while driving under the heavy areas, roll the windows up – that stuff falls down onto us, right? odd-looking, kinda sci-fi clouds you never learned of in grammar school. I am thinking they’re re-writing atmospheric science texts to include these man-made helpers as natural formations…

you also notice through the southern states (CA, AZ, NV NM) that there is absolutely no water in any of the washes, the rivers, the creeks, the reservoirs – nothing. But they have vineyards and agricultural fields full of un-natural crops for that/those climates. Thinking… they have to be GMO plants to survive; ewe! poor plants, poor people. Sidenote: the smog alone of CA Produce areas previously considered the best; i.e. – The Imperial Valley, is enough to get cancer just thinking about consuming the produce grown there anymore.

Back to fake clouds via chemtrails – so by the time you are on the eastern terrain of NM, you begin to notice these grotesque cloud formations gather – the mixture of the weather patterns from the north, combining with the chemicals of the CT formations, are like big scary monster hairy things hanging over you – and the sun (setting) has turned brown – not it’s usual brilliant coral and purple. So now, it’s later in the eve, and you’ve just passed the TX border (going to make it to Amarillo) and from your left – you start to see huge black walls of chemicals racing towards you with heat lightening explosions inside the clouds… the clouds a little further from are coming into these CT walls all light grey and fluffy, turning into something I’ve never seen – they hit the black walls and with the wind – like bricks three miles wide, huge black walls are beginning to circle as they stretch/grow. Then! those black walls start racing at you at 60-70 miles an hour… you keep checking to see if cars from the other direction continue their travels… if not, spin your car in the opposite direction and drive as fast as you can away from them. But – you make it past the storm, pedal to the metal – racing along side it – going over 100 miles an hour to get ahead… only for about five minutes are you directly under the mess – please… but you make it.

Started thinking… stupid thought, but as I’d been really watching these clouds for the last two days, their progression with real weather fronts did produce little sprinkles here and there, but not much – BUT WHEN COMBINED with huge fronts as everything travels inland further to the Midwest; i.e .Colorado, Kansas, now all the way to southeast, the vector stresses of the energy being produced by these masses colliding into an even larger front is like wartime explosions and then they form even bigger and the winds get stronger… natures clouds with Canadian winds guiding them on their paths slamming into walls of blackened (by now) chemicals, the stage becomes frightening – you can watch tornadoes forming in groups and breaking into varying directions – like ancient warriors descending from the skies. Then you start to remember all of the massive tornadoes of recent years… so you check in to your hotel for the evening and go onto the internet… crazy thought: the chemtrails are causing the tornadoes? BingGoogle! Tons of info/blogs/cloud formation pics – people are noticing and getting concerned. Ha! patterns and logic.

note: if you look back at the rain tables for the west – go back fifty years… go back 100 years: same cycles; pretty much the same average rains each year per region with certain years getting less; there has always been periodical droughts in the west!!! We lived through them cuz the populations/(governments didn’t allow over-development) – say, in 1972 the total populations of Arizona, Nevada, and New Mexico combined were then what is now the population of Albuquerque. The “Bay Area” was one-20th the population, we know what LA has become; Sacramento and surroundings has turned into LA. I think if you took out Novato, Marin County hasn’t grown, neither has Carmel, Monterey, and a few other coastal towns – but even the Napa Valley has become an expressway lined with tract-homes – we had relatives that owned Lake Geyeserville as their private home – they had a small row of guest cottages and a main house… we’d stay for weeks at the lake on vacas… vineyards with little dirt roads; my dad traded bikes for cases of wine with Mondavi for his children to ride through their own vineyards… Petaluma was chicken capital of the world! It was fun; now it’s a casino. think it is selfish of western states to [have] overpopulated their communities to the point where previously were small farming communities with towns of 200 to 1000 are now out of control suburbs, and previously charming cities like Albuquerque are now like LA. Nevada? Reno Carson City and Vegas – that was it, with other small towns dotting the countryside. my point: if you look at the water tables – they haven’t changed, it’s the number of people and industries causing havoc; and for that now we get chemtrails that are causing increased tornadoes further in; some [tornadoes] are starting on the coast now too – never before. (note: the correlation btwn the onset of chemtrails and increased tornadoes is almost exact in timing.) Hell with global warming. overpopulation of terrains that are obvious not to be suburbs and big cities in areas with limited rain fall and the new science trying to make up for overpopulation with chemical water falling from the skies is what’s screwing up the weather.
and can you imagine the “symptoms” being realized ten years from now of our children and older people who have this stuff falling on them, in their water, etc. every day?

Sounds crazy? It was just my hunch as I drove the deserts this time through… looked on the internet… I’m correct: scientist are starting to grumble. Weather reporters are ignoring/reporting as normal. Who do you believe? I’m not such a science retard after all.

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huh?

read this survey (on internet) of the world’s top 10 countries… as far as sex… amount per week and endurance/time… turns out the current average per this survey is somewhere in the 3 minute range of those “top ten” countries having the most… Huh! That means if that’s the average, a minute or two is quite normal?

this speed up of our societies has now infiltrated sex too? No romance, no lingering? no Captain and Tennille? I think I’m right; people need to slow down and find their own gentle energies again.

I don’t even understand… if anyone ever thought 3 mins. was even a consideration, they’d be out the door.

Romance romance why aren’t we thinking up romance – Pete Townshend. (and I agree)

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wednesday and thursday and friday

14 hrs of work each… none matter any longer… they became Saturday.

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tuesday

do you ever dream about that thing?

yeah, the other night I dreamt I was on TV and it exploded everything, everywhere.

(talking with someone – my question about his cell phone as I watched his hands fumble; his response)

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monday

okay… Valentino was kissing me last night (wasn’t in Juarez either). go back to sleep young lady – that dream was categorically considered “too much fun.” But – the stage is set!

not really, not yet – [but] it’s being built and the green room; have decided it will be red with an orange flowering plant (just one) with ample beautiful green leaves and it will be in a very plain terra-cotta pot, golden toast organic carpeting, and crimson something; not sure what yet, but something will be crimson – pretty soon. lighting? had the expert out the other day – found an expert! so simple when someone listens to you, not themselves – I guess that’s what makes them an expert. thank you. (this was pre-written on Sunday)

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sunday

The arrangements prior to Jesus’ arrival:

All of these named gods and demigods with their attendants/courtesans taking places in a hierarchy that they arranged themselves to allow [them] controls other than the guardians they were intended for our world – and also entry and sometimes abandonment into below, for which (originally) was only intended to aid [Mother] earth to nurture hand in hand with all of the other elements above for the continuity of earth: its seas and its mountains and fire and ice and wind and rain from skies beautifully lit by the stars and a shimmering moon when it became night and then lit by a brilliant golden, warm sun when it was day; and also too its solitudes and behaviors and gardens and harvests and droughts and diseases… (etc.). and again into the skies if one would look up, a vastness so amazing, one would never be able to run out of thoughts – in wonder and awe and in hope for everything else under this same big sky… and through a kingdom filled with plants and animals, including man, there became a natural harmonized energy so perfect, the world and the heavens above combined into a symphony of this perfect energy to create the most beautiful sound/song one could imagine. Unfortunately, in time: (these other controllers) brought to earth laws never intended, allowing to label kings and heroes and shrines and churches and coliseums and priests and priestesses and [that] cast of thousands… all who took control (and fought against each other and intermingled their alliances and made deals with each other and then turned and made deals against each other, all to keep what little control they had over others stat… and slept with beasts and drones and heroes, and, as themselves, there was no real reason for any of this and because of, even though historically real, [each] became only myths because of their own selfishness to control others …) and of course – then came, in turn: each other – who became the controller of the other?: sisters and brothers and mothers, and sons and lovers (a great book, too!) and they killed and gave births and killed again – their own flesh and blood even; for every time, in reasons only as attempt(s) to keep their own halcyons of privilege and liberties alive, things became just a big mess – then [they] spat wretchedly back at each others’ sometimes beautiful and sometimes cruel and cunning incidents [into] further myths: stories were changed to reflect their own favor and then ordered to be told by those afraid to disobey… to the rest who were afraid not to listen, and this became their realities – only words of deception. and, sadly, because of: all reality became only to take and/or keep control without regard to consequences – with very little, if any, based on truth any longer, consequences became quite frightening to face and spurred further lies/myths to cover the mistakes — ; oh and prophets (God, please! I don’t want to be a prophet, some of them whispered, but that was their fate – so they were… and they became the 5th sex).

…and then the Heavens understood man would do well with further [proof]: so was sent God’s Son back to earth once again… with glowing light and serene peace… as witnessed, [now] this miracle could never be disputed (except by those – sadly – with darkened hearts and the audacity to believe they were more powerful here than what would become their futures). but, forever those who chose to believe in truth and light as historically witnessed when Jesus returned for us: love truly is eternal and there is no fear… Jesus, the Son of God, could never be taken from man – and all of those who choose to love Jesus for what he gave the world during this darkest times of our history (as chronicled in the OT)… and if believed in and carried forward into the future for as long as time will always exists: this beautiful truth Jesus so unselfishly provided for us willingly and only to save mankind from the corruptions that had taken hold to destroy paradise for [their own] greed, then those who followed God’s Son were to also know eternity and forever light would be theirs.

Happy Easter – take your shoes off… go find a peaceful place without concrete or electronics and all that other stuff: you can still hear it (natural energy) if you listen/feel really close. it’s pretty.

first @10/09/2012 by KPW – changed a little since orig…

Posted in other, poems, poetry, thoughts, writing

8.1

“no, you’re not the only idiot who waited til the last-minute to come in for the update.”

“oh, good to know. it’s different… how bout I come back in a few weeks if I haven’t figured it out; I’ll bring a list if I have problems.”

“here’s my card – most people will start showing up in a couple-weeks, once their systems stop working. so, call ahead of time; I’ll make time for you if you need the help – we can meet for coffee or something – it’s going to be busy.”

“thanks. do you have any bubble wrap?”

“huh?”

“to pad these other two computers until I get them home.”

“oh, okay…”

“you were thinking kinky!”

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poppies

waking up from a dream to read
headlines of the morning’s paper
with coffee in your cup…
oh, my, what have I done!
no, what time had it happened
read again the hour better inside
the wall’s clock: tick-tock tick-tock
into the sun bleached bluffs
the wain with single ox leading
ahead of a storm takes hold above
places back an evening before
rome became dark.

@03/22/2014 by KPW

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coy

he glistened white and black satin scales with transparent orange fins as I watched him swimming under golden sunlight in a Rosicrucian lily pond always playing with bubbles spilling from a triangular waterfall; sometimes I would read him stories from a book I’d always bring, sitting with him, while waiting for the others after breakfasts they’d half decide to eat. we became friends; I was four. he’d lift his head up to greet me; quite different from the others’, his eyes were human blue; anyway, he’d always kiss me on my cheek as I’d lean over to find him swimming among the rest; there you are, i’d giggle, as I’d give him crusts of toasted bread, sometimes still with butter (though my pockets got me in a lot of trouble later, “young lady, what is this sticky mess all over you?”) – and (so) as we’d begin each Sunday morning that early spring still inside of me, i think i helped him remember all those places where his journey first began as I listened to his own stories of another time I never knew.

(to be continued)

@ 02/08/2014 by KPW

Posted in other, poems, poetry, thoughts, writing

repost: 21 Jacks (an interlude inbtwn Jacks)

a future prediction…. come hear, listen close: it’s mathematics taking over – my! what a hand to behold! “cheater,” was heard — someone’s calling out. oh! okay, if you say? but the cards are all there and patterns make the future clearly aware to these present conditions of the hands being dealt passing time as they’re counted is only a temporary problem, now being felt as the dealer uses a machine to re-shuffle each time luck’s handed out — bets placed on the table always sway in someone’s own favor no matter how many players have gathered around holding the odds together faithfully bound in logic’s end now stays… go ahead, hit me – 21! it’s a win! yay, it certainly is, only most often the money’s kept by the house. so why bother? wouldn’t dare, but as this is a story of the past all in parts being told, and has all of it’s chapters already gathered, it’s quite safe to say the future is known: 11 more coming until comes the end.

@ 08/24/2011 by KPW

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keep the beat (more chalkboard)

when you have one more chapter to complete for a (really) long poem to be finished prior to publishing…

I pick out music (hopefully) to take my mind into that “beat.” I like the good old-fashioned kind when there is rhythm to the read… I believe it allows the mind to float into the meaning(s) more; i.e. – become part of. I know – most people don’t agree with that; and I also read beautiful poetry/poets who care not to rhyme and don’t keep each line tucked into the same number of syllables – but for me, like dancing – I lose myself in the flow of the rhythm.

with only that last chapter to Jack to go… as I was writing the bulk of it (along with some other stories in poetry) I became so involved in the writing, I seriously couldn’t speak to anyone nor even write a grocery list without rhyming my thoughts/words… then I stepped away when I was told I had to re-write An Average Man Sleeps; so I left Jack almost done to do the second draft of AAMS (now told, that one needs to become a dark comedy: a third time re-writing; it’s making me stronger at least – but now a cruel comedy? I’m going to turn into a snotty little smart-mouth if the same happens when I start that re-write – you get involved and patterns become…; anyway, naively believing I could pick up where I left off with Jack and finish it off quickly up the road was soon realized: Not so easy (for me).

Jack will be a 300 plus page poem as a story with twists and turns and beauty and love and vile and triumph when complete …pretty good one I hope. I think it is. I do love the story; and I want the ending to be better than the beginning… the one person right now who I need to agree with me? He does! Thank you sir, thank you for the help/pushing me.

so – since I’m stuck – I’ve been reading and re-reading the first twenty-seven chapters (eventually to be reformatted down to 21 chapters; aka – twenty-one) to various music to find those songs whose rhythms flow along with my already written part… and then re-read again to more music: Found about six or seven cds that seem to be working! Dire Straits’ Making Movies, Bryan Ferry’s Bette Noire, both Falco’s Weiner Blut and Emotional (who rapped before the rest of you?), Bondy’s Believers, Isidore’s Life Somewhere Else and Al Stewart’s Year of The Cat.

Here I go back into rhyming my grocery lists again…

Posted in other, poems, poetry, thoughts, writing

chalkboard

the Emperor’s Buoying is bravoed across Broadway at its opening show and in echoes backstage remain all of those sounds spiraling out of control taken apart by a serpent’s wrapped tale of crimson red scales coiling around in the pit of an orchestral maneuver reminds not to dive through those lullaby tides was an oboe so slow as it cried out to the theater’s crowd: London’s bridges have fallen down, round and round inside this town, London’s gone and the king ‘s crown can’t be found my fair ladies – his derelict’s been lost at the bottom of the sea if a new cast isn’t found above the stage left in production when the director calls out “action,” and though lighting failed miserably behind each and every scene, the grip hangs on still too tight passing each mighty heave as the curtain now falls – grip right taking back from the night as never before staged they all continue on playing out loud to a very packed house *even in the dark the actors still got it right* (later, read the review – the show will go on!)… Act III will be short on time as the main character dies in a prostitute’s soft bed (crumbs of biscuits and a half-eaten tin of mustard-soaked fish were found close to his porcupine head), his last bite had been taken long before the climax gave in , Act IV sails were raised once again, “we’re coming about” heading back into the wind, Act V closes down for the night as the sun sets – fade back (again and again): east to west in ovation comes applause as the cast takes their bows. the end.

@02/02/2014 by KPW

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everbody was talking religion… hmm.

in songs carried by dust of a wind lost in some other time that night came to him again with rise from each corner of this once innocent man he fell back into an ocean of aquamarine where gulls filled his soul [and] silently he watched as they, the only ones to ever really know, carried a part of his weight back onto shore – it was then when he wondered (as) each time passed through the days he’d ignored why it seemed tides always took longer than forever until they happened again and why was he sent from where his father began? dear sky up above, will the moon and the stars follow where I am to next be once too helpless to breathe on this land or will these waves remove every particle of sand imprinted with me while (also) a crustacean crosses in diagonal speed erasing all memories of any seasonal belief year upon year before came the momment’s call of each annual spring? – now, I understand. do you hear me?

(then) surrounded by eels as he drifted through cardiac stings and clay colored barnacles sucking the blood from his fat swollen feet, dreams of lilacs and red roses and a young man diving for pearls and there was a girl in a plain dress who lived down the street and she would always beat him whenever climbing tall trees, and a thousand more memories flashed for him in one moment’s peace – no! (he finally screamed, lucky for him) do not take me from here as a man without saving my dreams; as in the midst of so many reasonable ways I am only what was never more than expected of me – an average man asleep.

and then he woke up (and lived happily ever after). nice ending.

@02/01/2014 by KPW

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and then came (intermission)

on the premise of purposely writing stories jumbled/separated, start thinking: should finish up a couple of them… one of two young girls and fireflies; another thought still out there about the biggest hollywood hero ever to grace that silver screen (and a truly nice/honest/misunderstood man from my perspective) – but still even with all the junk out there on the internet I found – if you read all of it within short periods, you easily see the lies/mistellings of fact(s), still everyone adored him: I guess he was the King of Cool – and he definitely is of “dna” that can never be copied – there will never be another Steve McQueen; and I still need to write the last chapter to Jack: how on earth an old man with his cart, a donkey, and an ox become united once again has been harder than originally thought through – no logic. (and a recreational vehicle soon to play with… vaca!)

Posted in other, poems, poetry, thoughts, writing

and then came (5)

hockey brats… I ice-skated once at some party when I was 18; that didn’t turn out well… after a few hits into the wall/railings and a few belly flops; how do you turn these things? never ice-skated again until: moved to an area that was more heavily into the sport; went with some friends (over 20 years after the initial challenge) to an indoor ring… had even begun to like hockey games – those guys/girls have to be some of the most coordinated and powerful athletes, at the same time, in the world: to be able to glide so graceful while simultaneously enacting such power; a true gift of body/mind/spirit in flight! to watch (I remain in awe every time I watch a game).

so thought: I’d give it another go – arrive at the ring and… these skates aren’t as hard as ski boots to get on… I can do this. It may be embarrassing, but I’ll do it.

there were a bunch of 12-15 yr old hockey players just leaving the ice after practice – now, the ring was open skate: I stood there and watched while they finished. okay, here goes… something odd happened, and I just flew onto the ice and started in, having my last attempt at this ice skating thing firmly forefront in my head: (‘this is going to hurt’), but I was circling and skating backwards, and could do scissor jumps and full spins off the ice and, everything just fell into place. Friends thought I’d lied: I’d been an ice skater more often than I’d told. nope. two of the hockey dudes were still on the ice; just skating – they weren’t showing off, they were just really good – I started watching them with my mouth open…; they’d overheard friends talking to me and asked if they could give me some tips: sure! so we started skating together – the two giving me pointers (expert, I must say), that made so much sense. Soon the three of us were playing leap-frog and other games on the ice. the two of them could do full somersaults – some doubles – in the air as they skated along. To be a hockey player, you must be a figure skater, a gymnast and a warrior, all at the same time: once you realize this, to watch that sport/those athletes, becomes simply mesmerizing.

“hey?” “huh?” do you think one of you can spot me while I try a somersault?” “you wanna try, you sure?” “yeah, I can do it; just don’t let me fall on my head if I screw up, okay?” “okay.” (mind you, they still had their helmets on, I didn’t have a helmet.) so after a pass around the ring to get the speed up, one hockey dude skating perfectly at my side, I took off – could feel one of his hands just slightly guide me from the small of my back as I went into the air: just enough to give me the force to ignite, then: with so much power, he was in front of me in one movement (to grab me if I screwed up): I did it (just one): perfect somersault in the air – and landed without falling. “thanks.”

anyway, winters here: lots of public skate rings; and too: whenever skiing now, they always have a ring at the resorts – so I save some time for the ice/blades. sometimes wish I had my hockey dudes back, I could do that somersault even better if I tried it again.

(to be continued)

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and then came (4)

the presentation: !!!!!

I remember… had to; but then would ask questions that apparently were disturbing (when I was a buyer) way back when; not really that long ago, but seems so:

what?
it’s a valid question, isn’t it?
well, yeahbut…
but, what?
I mean, nothing except, doesn’t it sound good?
yeah, but there’s the other side: the what if...
well, I can’t tell you that.
you can’t?
no.
why not, I mean if you don’t know the answer that’s okay, I understand; just go ask one of your bosses or engineers or someone who does know…. I mean, you can get me the answer in a few days, can’t you?
well, uh, no, I can’t actually.
why not?
because, I’m not allowed to answer that question.
what do you mean, you’re not allowed?
I mean, I’d get fired if I told you.
what… well, that means the question I just asked you is a valid one, right?
not really, I mean what does it matter?
It matters a lot! there is a concern here, I need to know the cons as well as the pros you just presented to me; otherwise, when things don’t go well, then I’m responsible.
Not really, I mean, look, we sell to a lot more important companies than this one, they accept our products without all the questions, so yeah, sometimes things happen, that’s inevitable, right?
I’m not talking about failure, I’m talking about ignorance, I mean if I know there might be a problem and I don’t have the answers ahead of time to correct it as quick as possible if something does go wrong, then I am the responsible party who should have known, right; otherwise, the whole process is a lie?
hey, look, it’s industry standard, I mean, why you making such a big deal?
forget it, I’ll call you, thanks; bye.
hey, look, I got tickets to XXXX concert, want to go, I’ll throw in a swank dinner!
no thanks. (NEXT!) **

Anyway, I found as a buyer that half the stuff out there is just crap and fancy marketing and empty promises and just a big headache if you didn’t do all of the work up front to make sure everything was valid; so I spent tons of time interviewing potential vendors and pouring through studies and texts about all this stuff I’d never even heard of before… so I’d know crap when I heard it.

In the end: the vendors that were up front with me (though didn’t offer me trips and minks) and you name it, I was offered it by the others – there used to be a code of ethics that said you would not/could not accept anything of value, even a lunch over XXX$ from anyone you were doing biz with – I’m not sure that’s so anymore? doesn’t seem like it… same thing when I was later in advertising; anyway… ethics 101 no more? been told since, I was in my own little world – the ethics then weren’t all that much different; obviously so, cuz it took me a lot of work to find those with integrity; but once found, they never let me down…

just now seems govts/corps have figured out how to catch others into their web(s)… greed.) those vendors that didn’t spew crap at me were the reliables that didn’t get me in a tough spot later on; which at the end of the day, I appreciated much more than some gift or something.

I’d hear my fellow buyers screaming on telephone calls, calling their vendors every name in the book, threats, …you promised!!! and then pulling out the bottles from their bottom desk drawer. Lucky, I was only 16/17/18 yrs old… didn’t drink; ultimately, I quit/went back to school: writing was on the wall: “your life in XX years if you continue(?)

See, once they accepted stuff/trips from their vendors, they were those vendors’ slaves; i.e. – cuz there was always some trace of my fellow buyers being unethical; a picture, a receipt… that their vendors could hold over them. if caught, they’d lose their jobs.

over flourescent lighting (youtube below – the funniest one I could find; but factual)… I’m thinking a bunch of really smart people sat around while it was presented to them by the co-founding sponsor, most probable, a not for profit (funded by the sponsor) so there would be no misinterpretation of a conflict of interest; as we all know: non-profits are supposed to be there to do good things for others… otherwise, someone got a mink coat!!! cuz it doesn’t make sense, glitzy presentation or not – nobody asked the questions they should have. As of 01/01/2014 in a lot of places, incandescent light bulbs are now illegal. I am sure those smart people sometime since the initial presentation had to find out they’d been duped. Then why didn’t they just fess up that it was a mistake; we take it all back – continue on? Don’t know.

**took a lot more than that made up conversation to get the truth out of the jerks.

that “40 times more energy to manufacture” equates to 4,000 percent more energy to produce; therefore, the 80 percent more efficiency they claim equals only a 3,820 percent deficit; and with the cost and most importantly, the health hazard to all of us – somebody lied during that presentation? Nobody asked questions? Somebody got something? Probably all of the above. Funny thing: if you search Youtube for videos of this, then add up all the viewership of those videos that are listed (just a page or two for sample value), if you notice: the total viewership of the facts out there re these horribly dangerous things they are forcing people to buy is less than 10 percent of Justin Bieber’s least viewed video? now whose fault is it that we allowed this. Presentation = time for preoccupation (unless you do the homework too.)

(to be continued)

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and then came (3)

bing! (4 letters); which is way more efficient than google (6 letters); kind of like one of those how many jelly beans in a jar(?) questions. there is some amount of estimate to the calculation/conclusion, but my guesstimate would be the average person saves over 11,000 keystrokes per year. That’s a lot; and just think of all that time saved. quite efficient.

(to be continued)

Posted in other, poems, poetry, thoughts, writing

and then came (2)

back in the 70s there was an exterminator (bugs, rodents, etc.) in NYC that was lacking in biz, as NYC had recently prompted a program due to the mounting complaints of pests, to clean up the city/(garbage); …anyway, this very lost man (who was losing biz) created an ad campaign that pigeons were filthy, disease-ridden creatures – and that HE could help citizens as the only exterminator in the area to have expert knowledge of how to get rid of them. Well, this marketing campaign caused outraged concern of the self, not the outrage that should have been: he was trying to make a buck in a down market (for him). -the outrage targeted mostly at hotels and public buildings from concerned citizens due to their hearing all this crap over and over in ads on television, the radio, the newspapers- those who ran the city’s hotels/buildings were lambasted by possible patrons complaining (now), the pigeons’ poop, etc. and all the made up other stuff would certainly cause them to become very ill/perhaps deadly; if no action to get rid of the pigeons was taken, there would be lawsuits! So lost exterminator man didn’t lose anymore revenue. Yes, his biz was strong again(!) He saved the poor citizens from actual fear caused by untrue actuality by cleaning up the mess the pigeons made; i.e . killing them so that everyone was safe and pristine.

Truth is there isn’t one communicable disease that can be transmitted from pigeon to human – unless you want to eat their poop – then I guess, bacteria indigestion will follow; but that is same with any species… And, thus, another lie for gain becomes popular belief – and still stands today. Jeeze, I mean it is only killing pigeons; what’s the harm?

As a prior SF columnist was famous for calling pigeons over and over within his columns: “rats with wings” (brainwash, brainwash, brainwash), it made you wonder: was he receiving monies from the local govt? He was quite the popular syndicated read… cuz SF citizens had (back then) been a holdout re the national holocaust on pigeons (SF no longer is caring of these creatures either) – and thus, goes society as we remain. Start anything by telling people it’s so and with enough repetitiveness, it’s a done deal. But: I remember prior to the frenzy: feeding the pigeons with stale bread saved for them… never sickened, just fun. My point: as everyone since (now) gets sicker – it’s not the pigeons that are the cause.

one pigeon- Cervas we called him – we found him after some idiot had done horrible things to him; ultimately had to pay a vet to have his leg amputated re the infection the man caused. The (previous) caring SFSPCA does not include pigeons in their promise to protect all creatures, so finding a vet who’d do the operation was difficult/really expensive; just on that, I thought: my gosh – do not these veterinarians realize the bird isn’t our pet? instead, he just crossed our path and we are trying to do the right thing? Could one of them be a little more generous and volunteer to take at least a reduced fee for the procedure? Nope, cost over $800. Nonetheless, our little pigeon hero survived his operation and after a few weeks inside to recoup… he was fine, with a new nick-name: PegLeg. he stayed loyal and hung out with me/my dog on walks and would sit on the front stairs with us before we’d go in after those walks – and from then on, never had to eat human vomit or other nasties (actually human garbage does make pigeons and other wildlife sick/live shorter lives); no! he had a lovely organic diet – even with just one leg, PegLeg lived a very long lovely pigeon life – and made us smile so many times; (every evening, when I turned lights out before going to sleep, that was his signal – I’d hear this lovely cooing – saying goodnight to me; he’d made a nesting close to my bedroom’s window; luckily I had nice neighbors that enjoyed him too.) He will never be forgotten.

(to be continued)

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and then came

patterns and logic. (Come on patterns and logic! We need you.)

almost all of our aggression has been the American consumers’ demand for our government to obtain cheap oil for OUR consumption – Americans are a small percentage of the global population, yet we consume the majority of energy… and we are very aggressive in obtaining it – that is where/why most of our foreign aid and all of our military $$$ are currently spent; i.e. building/keeping alliances and shaking down countries for oil. Yet, we also/at same time protest and demand of our government not to drill our “pristine” lands for the oil we have – and there’s a lot of it – as well as, go forward aggressively towards further wind/solar energy.

Besides it would cost a lot less than our current foreign policies and as a country we couldn’t be manipulated as much financially – yes, the manipulator is manipulated too(!!), the plus side is: we wouldn’t be killing people. it would also allow us AS consumers to settle down for a moment to think: “our way of life” is fine as long as it is us who pays the price for the environmental effects and all of the other heartbreaking ramifications for our needs… not going in and destroying other nations; and whether so far, real or not – being attacked (i.e. – 911 and embassy attacks).

I put this problem squarely on the democrats as though I know it was Bush who initially invaded the middle east, we are forgetting: Republicans had also previous to and throughout the start-up of wars we’ve now started, been begging the US to allow drilling (opening up of national lands etc.); it was the left of our nation that refused to see where that would lead us… I still saw everyone driving 20-40 mile 2x a day with two separate vehicles per family to commute back/forth to jobs etc. – like gas was endless(?) along with mindlessly using every electrical gadget that could be turned on as if all that energy was a present from Santa Claus, along with daily drive-through dinners and all that other stuff that is “our way of life.” (and is killing us). while for decades the rest of the world’s population has watched us be horrible in our addictions at their expenses; and yes, cheap retail goods from other countries: DON’T BUY IT and then complain about the end result; it breaks and then we throw things away and buy new; not good for the environment nor the economy. That’s mind control: our thinking this is right – all because we didn’t want to look at the: what will happen if we do this! Now, look at where we are – we have an impending disaster with a mean/confused person in charge of our country right now.

and remember: we didn’t want manufacturing pollution – and everyone wanted huge wages that forced corps into finding cheaper work elsewhere – now everyone works at Walmarts and Starbucks? Did nobody see this coming???!.

American consumers (this time), not our government nor corporations, should owe up to the selfish people we’ve become and apologize to the rest of the world for our gluttony; and mean it, and I mean, mean it by walking the walk… not repeating our own actions. We really have gone so far off the deep end in forgetting about others for a lifestyle we want.. If we did [apologize] re-examine what we’ve become, it would take away the power of horrible energy and trade agreements that have taken the soul away from this country.

And then: if we don’t want to drill our own oil, that’s fine – then ride a bike and be happy and don’t buy cheaply built mcMansions nobody should have realistically thought they could afford, and then blame banks when (remembering how we, ourselves have been spending so wildly) for not being able to afford what we’ve bought that we shouldn’t have bought to begin with… and live more simply. If we don’t make that choice ourselves, and make it now, I guarantee someone else will be making it for us very soon – they’re angry with us. (and yes, gas is going to cost a lot more – start adjusting your lifestyle/spending habits for $10 per gallon now.)

Everyone is complaining about the people’s lack of power to control our government from doing this and that – frankly, I see it as if we don’t allow ourselves to be gluttons and practice a little more self-control over ourselves (and quit watching reality tv and gaga this and dumb stuff that – it is turning everyone into zombies!!!) then power is restored back to the people – which is what we were suppose to be. who knows, maybe other countries’ citizens might believe us – and follow with truth too. that would be nice.

(to be continued)

Posted in other, poems, poetry, thoughts, writing

no flesh nor corn

I was in an antique mall the other day; didn’t buy anything… you know, they didn’t start using nails in good furniture until two-thirds of the way through the last century; they used dowels and they weren’t jigsawed parts glued together; they were full carved pieces… people who try to sell stuff as expensive should know these things; that victorian piece was manufactured in the 70s… the 1970s.

Usually I look through books… sometimes something really fun; an old cookbook, an original children’s classic; i.e. – Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys, one of the original Oz or Raggedy Ann series… something gets missed and isn’t sold off on the internet – sometimes you find something cool.

Lots of those “coffee table” books in the antique malls – the stuff people sell at yard sales – something probably given to them as a present… 25 cents, it’s yours; by the time it is in an antique mall – it’s a buck or two; there is no value to any of them really: all the different ones on botany or the alps or rock n roll or fashion – useless observations, unless you are sitting in a doctor’s office or something and bored, there’s no reason to pick one up; that’s why they buy them/put them in their offices… for people to pass short periods of time without boredom/complaining.

I noticed one of those magazine table books in the store, “Two Million Years of The Earth’s History.” it was about one and one half inches thick… thought to myself, how could anyone present any form of [a] comprehensive history of 2 million years on this earth in an inch and a half? Then I noticed it was published by Readers’ Digest. Oh, yeah, the condensed version. made me laugh.

Posted in other, poems, poetry, thoughts, writing

phil

(for educational purposes only)

never watched the show, but: a 67-yr old with long hair in dark sunglasses, bandana and army fatigues; and he wears the look very well; seems like an honorable man… says he doesn’t believe in alcoholics, greed, liars, and homosexuality among other sexual things he believes are deviant; and I think I read a few other things in the mix… his reply to a specific question asked of him in a mag article. his right and he was being honest, not hateful. Though I am pro sexual choice is up to the individuals involved, as long as it is not threatening speech, it is his opinion.

uh-oh! the politically correct world whom only wants to be protected from everything cries out? I agree with Phil… he has a right to free-speech. that’s his opinion. What? only certain opinions are free? that’s not freedom.

and what isn’t even being discussed: his ideals/beliefs are so very normal for his age-group – so it’s okay to attack a man who is technically a senior citizen and what he believes in? he has no right to say what he believes in anymore. and nobody is remembering: he was over 50 when all of this public acceptance of others’ sex lives/preferences became so public(?) to everyone else; and remember – he wasn’t taunting anyone, he was answering a question, honestly. ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me’ actually did make people stronger emotionally, i.e. – you don’t start a fight because someone doesn’t agree with you; and: everyone bows to reality sisters and housewives and violence violence violence – I don’t watch those, cuz I just don’t want to but that’s their lives and their interests and they’re not concerned with my opinion (I don’t watch Duck Dynasty either, just cuz it doesn’t sound interesting either). The social media is social engineering and political correctness is bullying, and whether I agree with any of the above-mentioned realities or not, I definitely disagree with the reality of social engineering/marketing – and it’s turning everyone into a bunch of whiney little robotic babies.

so I look [it] up and find:

in Oregon, a school official wastes taxpayer time/money ‘ordinancing’ that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are racists against new immigrants cuz where they migrated from, peanut butter and jelly was not served. What!?

in England… some idiot psychologist lady wasted those taxpayers’ money there, on a study concluding… using white paper for art projects to create with/write on is racist and gives immigrant children there a bad image of themselves. What? Instead of the obvious: it is simply easier/better to use white paper cuz all the other colors placed upon it stay the colors they are… imagine drawing a tree and flowers on purple paper. the greens would look like mud, the browns would look like greys, the yellows? they would not show up at all.

…a school in NJ… the ‘Holiday’ concert took all mentions of Jesus out of Silent Night. What? The song is about the birth of Jesus which is what Christmas is celebrated for.

In Alabama, though, a parade could have no reference to anything about Jesus, a group of men in drag -santa suit hotpants and full makeup… they were all gyrating as if in a strip club as they paraded down the street past young children. And that is correct?

and as I was doing my grocery shopping today, the young lady who checked me out… “hi.” “hi.” (she usually is all smiles and talkative; not today). Then it hit me… “oh, Merry Christmas,” I smiled. She smiled back… real big and whispered Merry Christmas back… “it’s okay, they’ve instructed you not to say those words, huh?” “uh-huh.” “your smile was a gift, so thank you; they’re wrong.” …and she smiled again.

My point: I don’t agree with his belief nor his lifestyle – but tolerance I believe in.

and (just checking to see what the show is about – turns out it’s re hunting and being a veggie, don’t believe people should kill animals for human use, otherwise…I just might have started watching that Phil guy on Duck Dynasty just cuz…) I think he’s from the south Louisiana or Alabama… where the errotic performance was allowed in view of young children instead of whose birthday we’re celebrating. Dumb. Lighten up… quit thinking only about yourself – maybe try smoking funny things might help – laugh and be happy and love. Merry Christmas Alabama and then there too stands tall Michigan and everything in between. Nobody bitching – just together.

And besides: for all these personal demands by some groups against others… to get more power for themselves? that’s not what we were to accomplish (I thought); I thought we were suppose to accept each other and understand the greater good of differences while we watched the whole in awe.

an indirect take (saw posted) – first it was: there was the elimination of rye bread, then they took away pumpernickel, then it was the whole wheat and white… then there stood the sourdough, now all alone… then it too… well, soon there was nothing to hold but the “let us.”

(but the woman announcing is wrong: it’s actually three’s to become a fourth.)

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what is the difference between

a typewriter (though have a Remington – keep looking at it… it’s beautiful! – I use the Selectric) and a computer?

[I no longer have] perfect fingernails.

(this is no joke!)

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biopsies

remember when you were a kid and all of those other kids… (?) … some were kind and some weren’t.  pretty easy to tell.  the ones who weren’t – you think back to and still can’t figure, why?  I mean, were they abused inside their own homes by a sibling a parent a ? or were they taught on purpose to be? or were they born evil?  One characteristic witnessed back then within the mean ones, continuing through as they attended high school, remaining within them as adults:  stinginess appears as:  I think I’m better than you or at least I’m going to pretend I am.  not sure?  mostly, now, seems sad to watch. still confusing, though.

remember being outside playing and there was always ‘one’ who always had snack food – chips, candy, anything bad for a child/person… chomping away at it in front of all the other children, as if to be superior in their possession(s), they’d go on and on about how delicious their treat was and there the rest of us were: witnessing all of this; paying as close attention to the baited as the one doing the baiting: drooling all over themselves because of the other’s treats… almost always asking if they could have some; then the ‘kid with,’ would use the other child’s request to control the other further…  “well, what’ll you do if I give you some?… I dunno, it’s really good, too bad you don’t have one… go get your own…” etc. – but always eventually giving in to appear as if they were sharing, or after making another child lose it using that child’s want as their ammunition to tease, then something like, “man I was only kidding, don’t be a baby, here have some…” and they would hand over a tiny morsel the size of a mouse’s bite, while ridiculing, “baby” in front of the others.  (Now, this “other” one – the one begging for and being called “baby” cuz of, was an even more nasty hurtful child when not around the controlling superior one… hmmm?   

or alternate scenario:  the kid who constantly asked another for a drink of their soda or something and the child they’d asked wasn’t stingy, no – this time it is the one who’d asked… returning an almost full bottle of pop with less than half a gulp after [his/her] one drink.  If anyone called them on their gluttony, they’d first laugh, thinking it was funny; if pressed that it was actually rude: attack back with, “what you complaining about …I asked you if I could have a drink, you said yes… you baby!” or something close; often that was the same child who’d been humiliated by the controlling child who’d given them a crumb… – and nobody ever thanking the other. 

then there were the nice kids, those who when you were at their home, playing, if at lunch time, their [mothers] would make you each a sandwich… we learn from our parents – when at your home, same manners bestowed; or those who when going to the local convenience store after school with money (and a friend along in tow) would equally share – with enough money, give choice to their friend to pick what they wanted for themself; sometimes if only enough for one treat split – still choice given to the friend…  noticeably remembered, those kids were the ones who never asked of others for anything; and if they were offered, quite often just said, “thank you, no.”  (smart!) 

by high school you’d notice that She and Her – both being two of the meanies as little girls, were now best friends and they mostly treated each other as they had those you witnessed them being rotten to way back when – just, now, they enjoy being mean to each other? I kinda think as time/habits become our normal, whether good or bad, our bodies’ chemistries adjust abnormally to odd stimuli… not just drugs and the big-ticket addictions like television watching and texting nonstop, but also the ‘perpetual complaining’ makes some feel good, the ‘control over others’ makes others feel good, the being mean becomes so normal, that it’s like withdrawal if one isn’t mean… otherwise: I have no clue.

Gluttony and control = stingy and using the two in tandem (which is a natural combination – there isn’t one without the other) = plain out, mean.  then you grow up and watch adults…  those exact lessons you remember from the everyday dealings experienced with the other children in your neighborhood remain so precisely on point and they’ve yielded the exact same character traits in the adult versions  – makes you think back to when you were a kid.

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Biloxi

what a lovely place to see a lovely lady sing her soulful heart out – covers, originals, everything – girlfriends – are you ready? (another lovely lady behind us) and everyone sang along, and then you’re asked to dance, and as you dance, you spin… ah, man, can someone ask her to sing that one again – so fun:

biloxi? not that far, when you’re close. uh-uh! I’m driving us back.

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chit-chat

(not mine, something interesting sent to me):

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”

“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”

“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnations of you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who ever lived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions he killed.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”

“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.

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250 – five

=== okay young lady, remember all of those murders awhile back? (and he went on in more detail) === yeah, I think I was only about ten at the time, but I remember; why? === well, his purpose was not what was told the rest of the world on tv… he was a snivelling little hateful, greed-filled man with a singular talent learned of reading people’s weaknesses and then he used others after totally fucking each up in their own destroyed heads to take revenge on people with money for his own benefit; it was easier than knocking off liquor stores for pennies compared to what he could get in this scheme; and freezing in abandoned canyons was what he hated most; a sociopath – that was what was in his eyes – nothing. he was a thief with an elaborate ego – dangerous combination; never met him but he sent something he wrote to a production company I co-owned; it was returned to him with a form letter; did the same all over town, sending scripts and songs to others; he couldn’t handle the rejections; so he used those weaker than himself and manipulated them into killers for vengeance – his; preaching the evil of those with money. i turned up on his list. that’s why the gun. === oh, okay. === okay? === no, I didn’t mean okay, but it explains why. === but you asked for what! (he started smiling; it was forced though) === told you, it would explain why. === and so you did. === always? === I already finished the question and answer portion of this day; no more. === okay. but do you always have to take that thing with you? === told you… === shhh; it’s really part of the same. === that’s a technicality. === you’re not answering me. === I’m not going to. === okay, let me tell you something, then. === what? === see, now you’re making fun of me. === tell me. === early that January we were out in Death Valley camping; that day we were letting our dog run out at Devil’s Racetrack, when we came upon a bus and this little opel cadet station wagon – there he was with these others; mostly girls – they smelled horrible; all of them; and his eyes! you remember what I was telling you earlier about when your knees give way? === uh=huh. === well, they did; not a word between had been spoken, I just fell to the ground; mind you, I got up quickly, but the initial shock of his eyes was what caught me. anyway, Duchess, our Doberman, leapt in btwn the two of us – she was going to take him, unprovoked – you know how dogs sense evil more than we can? === yeah, my own is my best friend. === yeah, she was our nanny growing up; she was kind and gentle for the most part, but you didn’t hurt her babies – us – or she’d risk her own life… well, anyway, my father heard the commotion from the truck and then we all heard his shotgun go off – it was overhead… kind of like how you gave warning earlier – it was meant but not yet fatal. The man tried to calm his own intrusion, but those eyes… Duchess wrapped her body around me and sat there growling at him. My father came running up, gun cocked, all of the girls ran towards the bus; I heard him holler out: don’t even try; and they all stopped before entering. === he did that because he thought they were going for weapons. === yeah, I got that but it was their faces: like they were excited by the ordeal and all of them were smiling and then they started praying, for that man I’m pretty sure, and telling us he was of peace – but Duchess – no! i trusted her: none of them were at peace. that little guy stood there, hands in the air; Duchess and I ran back to the truck and got in; even though I was only ten, my father had taught me how to drive cuz we were always out in the middle of nowhere, I guess for my own safety – I mean he never let me drive other than lessons… === go back, you’re going off track. === oh, yeah – sorry; to remember it so clear, it’s upsetting, I ramble. === I know, you’re rambling now. === yeah, well, I put the truck in drive and floored it – it spun at first cuz of not enough traction, but then evened out and was able to coast in to where my father now stood, and he jumped onto the back bumper and held on while I drove off… anyway, I never saw a picture of Manson until years after the killings; and when I did… I fell to my knees again – just from sight of that man in the newspaper; that’s how evil he was. I since have thought that we should have contacted the authorities; could have saved everyone. — yeah, but what would you have told them, a bunch of hippies freaked your dog out and then prayed? — well, no, I mean, that he was evil. — authorities wouldn’t have done anything about it. — how do you know? — I know, sweetheart. — oh, okay, I guess, but still… — come on; I better get you out of here so you can go back to your grandparents home and dress for dinner; where you going? — the derby. — the derby? — uh-huh; they like going there; …meeting some friends. — who? — I don’t know, why are you so snoopy all of a sudden? — i don’t know. hey?! — what? — you wanna do one more trick with me before we get out of here? — what! — it’ll be fun? — it will? — uh-huh. come on: here’s what we’re going to do — see that gully? — yeah. — well, it’s only about a ten foot drop down, and soft at the apex where you’ll be jumping to… — who said… — shh. listen, don’t interrupt. I’m gonna take you on a couple test runs down from over there so you’ll know placement and timing of when you’re going to leap… — off the bike? — yep. — are you upset cuz I won the tree climb? (he started smiling, stopped talking and just stared at me) cuz if you are, that would be a poor sport and besides, it was fun, wasn’t it? — yeah, it was fun, now are you going to listen to me? — I’m listening! — okay then, let’s go practice… pay attention and remember the path we take and count out the distance to yourself and pay attention to the speed I show you, okay? — okay.

(to be continued)

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reaching out…

cards v sox playoff begins. good luck to both; and then there’s:

everybody smiles and is happy – nice tradition; would be best if Mr. Diamond was there to lead them… I can hear them singing along from Quebec to Madrid to Honolulu to Berlin to Tokyo to Vegas too (while they watch on tv_; it’s the world series!! and, yes, the bets are still being placed; tough call, but no matter who wins it’s always one big lovefest while Sweet Caroline’s being played.

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21 Jacks; aka – interlude between Jack (re/post …gotta get those cards in order)

a future prediction…. come hear, listen close: it’s mathematics taking over – my! what a hand to behold! “cheater,” was heard — someone’s calling out. oh! okay, if you say? but the cards are all there and patterns make the future clearly aware to these present conditions of the hands being dealt passing time as they’re counted is only a temporary problem, now being felt as the dealer uses a machine to re-shuffle each time luck’s handed out — bets placed on the table always sway in someone’s own favor no matter how many players have gathered around holding the odds together faithfully bound in logic’s end now stays… go ahead, hit me – 21! it’s a win! yay, it certainly is, only most often the money’s kept by the house. so why bother? wouldn’t dare, but as this is a story of the past all in parts being told, and has all of it’s chapters already gathered, it’s quite safe to say the future is known: 11 more coming until comes the end.

@ 08/24/2011 by KPW

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Nightbreak

Nightbreak

Sitting Sundays with the girls were lost in boys
they thought the Nightbreak would come for them with joy.
I sipped on snakebites as the sushi slowly warmed
any temptation lost, in darkness saw its early form.
How many bracelets? Do you think she takes them off?
It’s such a bother, but maybe, maybe not.
Take off your glasses — well, you do look kinda cool.
I like to see things and they darken up this room.
You mean these people? They are dark enough tonight.
I like to see you… and his kiss went down my spine.

We walked out further though we couldn’t speak because
the golden purple played soft among the stars above.
Go on, try it – still, the salad tasted best.
It’s always different when the sun takes out the west
within that nightfall when the thoughts of blues come true
and coral sparkles left without light fade away from view.
It’s not in time, it’s only [thoughts] that make it ever so
for weathered dreams of a place you knew you used to know
when knights came forward honor held upon their crest
within that moment, the future never came to rest
among the ashes in a past that would not show
a fortune told once of a moon’s shimmer in its palest glow:

That night will come next only when there is a song
sung by a stranger whose words will stay until the dawn
and when you’ve woken and the sun comes back around to rise
that’s when it finally changes and day’s light will fill your eyes.
I told her thank you I had not heard this before
it explains these things now. (I still hope to understand much more.)
She smiled at me and her eyes were lit with fire
there are seven wonders for your life dear and they’re only of desire.
Well. If I get there I promise to remember all of what you’ve said
you’ve told a future that will never leave my head.

Tonight I see you and I wonder what goes on
inside a moment where her words come back to haunt
in sounds of seven and the future – they always stay so near:
If it’s a curse… No! Maybe, magic will appear…

Go on, try it… I hear once more as I’m asleep
(…when I awake, I pray this dream I get to keep):

You kiss me gently and your voice goes to my groin
and you go slowly and you make my body moan
and you don’t stop and you take everything from me
and it is morning… and you just spent my fantasy.

(©September 15, 2010 by KPW
and 1988) – All Rights Reserved

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